I can't go to sleep, for some reason; I just feel very disturbed tonight. Most everyone will probably think this is nothing more than a petty rant on a minor issue, but I still feel the need to say something. I normally believe that people are inherently good, but I've been disappointed so many times that i just feel like I have to say something. So, here's what happened:
I flew into the Los Angeles area earlier tonight from San Francisco and one of the first things I did was go out to West Hollywood to see my friends. I didn't know until I arrived at Here Lounge that Chi Chi was DJ-ing and Brent Everett was showcasing tonight at this week’s Pornstar of the Week event led by Jason Sechrest, both of which were pleasant surprises. It had been a while since I've been to one of Jason's events, and considering I have many friends who not only attend his events, but also many who perform at his events, I was determined to have a good time despite the car trouble I had when I first arrived in LA - to make a long story short, my car battery had died and after an hour of trying to figure out what to do, I decided to take my mother's van. Anyway, so far, none of that is what has been disturbing me since I arrived home from Here Lounge. What's really pissing me off is this issye with how a dumb idiot acted at Here Lounge.
Most people who've been to Pornstar of the Week are familiar with Jason's custom of handing out free adult DVDs to the attendees. Once in a while, I get one, but other times, I don't, and all that's fine. But tonight, when Jason was passing out the last few DVDs while on stage with Chi Chi, he had put one directly in my outstretched hand. When Jason let go and passed out his last DVD, this dumb idiot who didn't get one decided to grab the one that I had in my hand (ergo the IDIOT half of dumb idiot) as it was still outstretched and looked like a possible opportunity for a free adult DVD (the stage was so crowded, I couldn't retract my arm without elbowing someone in the eye... so I didn't). Seeing as I wasn't giving it up just because he was pulling on it, he grabbed on with his other hand as well, and pulled it in toward his chest, making my arm bend over his shoulder saying it was his. The dumb idiot's friend, unsure what to do as we were debating who the DVD belonged to, decided to side with his friend and hesitatingly started to pry my grip on the DVD lightly as his friend kept trying to yank it away (the fact this the dumb idiot had gripped my pinky finger along with the DVD kind of trapped me... which is why I call him a "dumb" idiot).
Now, if the dumb idiot hadn't tried to grab it out of my hand and just asked for it, I would have smiled and said, "Awww... but I wanted it," and I would have done what I normally do in situations like that which is to just hand it over as a gift to be nice since I generally get these kind of things for free whenever I'm asked to review a movie. Normally, it's just no big deal. The issue this time, though, was that this dumb idiot was actually thinking it was okay to steal it from me, which is not okay at all. Jason had put the DVD into my hand, and when he let go, I was the only one holding it; meaning ownership of the property was transferred from him to me physically. And afterwards, when he got away with the DVD, I was ready to let the issue drop... sorta... but I overheard him bragging about it, which is fucked up. Yeah, it sounds like a stupid issue, but there really are legitimate points that I'm trying to make with this story.
Here's what is disturbing me: the guy who sided with his friend when he knew the dumb idiot was wrong in what he was doing. I saw the hesitation on his face, and he when he started to pry my fingers off, he was doing it so gently that basically he wasn't doing much of anything. I only let go because I saw how disturbed he was becoming, and the fact that he was disturbed made me disturbed. I really want to know why he chose to do side with his friend. It was obviously against his true feelings about the issue.
Here's where I'm going with this: for future reference, if you find yourself in a situation like that where you're trying to steal something from someone, don't do it. You put yourself and others in awkward situations, and no matter how you try and spin it, you're doing something wrong. If you're the friend to another dumb idiot in such a setting, then don't encourage your friend when he’s doing something wrong. You should never encourage your friends to cheat, steal, or lie, especially if they’re acting on selfish impulses; you could end up reaping the consequences along with you friend. The fact that they're putting you in a situation like that actually means they're abusing you as a friend; forcing you into a situation where you have to either choose your friendship or the right thing to do is not acceptable behavior. And of course, fighting on their behalf when you know they’re wrong makes you wrong.
Now, I’m not telling you not to help out your friends. You can still be a good friend in these kinds of situations. You’re actually being a better friend by encouraging them to be a better person by standing up to then when they’re being a bully or thief. And don’t take this to mean that you should fight them; just say you think it’s wrong and don’t encourage their deviate behavior, and if they’re PHYSICALLY violating someone else’s rights, go ahead and protect the other person. Just going along with a crime because you’re afraid of disappointing a friend is another form of peer pressure. If you’re an adult, make your own decisions; don’t let people decide things for you.
If you’ve read this, I hope you don’t find this to be nothing but a silly rant, but if you do, you’re welcome to your own opinions. Hopefully I won't feel the need to write any more random rants, but you never know what dumb idiot may cause another incident in the future. Probably the only legitiamte reason why I’m even offering this advice (and it is only advice) - besides the fact that I'm obsessive and filled with too much pride (I'm working on those) - is that I have this hope the friend of the dumb idiot reads this. He was cute after all, and I’m always up for helping out a cute dude with his problems… and possibly the fact that he was cute may have been the reason why I didn’t call security on him and the dumbass idiot... oops, did I say "ass?"
